1. |
Rollercoasters
04:31
|
|||
my mind is floating on the ceiling
and I, I am feeling everything
feels like I’m stuck inside an echo chamber
where nothing ever happens
but I just wanna hear you laughing
‘cause I want easy and I want gentle
but I need structure and I need careful
this is madness, but I want it to feel like magic
and I could run away from it
or I could run into it just to see how far I get
and I don’t even know what angle you’re playing at
sometimes I think you just wanna see me sweat
but let the games begin, let’s see how far I’ll let you get
you told me once that you feel like an island
that these days, you stay silent
that you’re tired of pouring your heart out
but I can see all of the landmines that surround us
and the way that you’re sidestepping
all of the heaven, all the second guessing
and I’m so starving and you’re so cryptic
we’re trading trauma, it’s almost addictive
tell me what goes on in that room where no one lives
and I could run away from it
or I could run into it just to see how far I get
and I don’t even know what angle you’re playing at
sometimes I think you just wanna see me sweat
but let the games begin, let’s see how far I’ll let you get
I keep thinking about the backseat of that car
and the way that you talked about rollercoasters
and leaned closer
and you said, you were sure, you’d rather dangle than be secure
and it felt like we were talking about something more
I’m just trying to get you next to me
but tonight already feels like a memory
and I could run away from it
or I could run into it just to see how far I get
and I don’t even know what angle you’re playing at
sometimes I think you just wanna see me sweat
but let the games begin, let’s see how far I’ll let you get
how far you gonna let me get?
|
||||
2. |
Bell Jar
03:14
|
|||
I can’t pretend not to know you
and I can’t pretend not to care
you told me there was no need to bother with emotion
but I can’t pretend it’s not already there
even if we’re healthy our lives are still fucked
and even if we’re sober we’re both still shit out of luck
living in a loop of wrong directions, missed connections
I just want the answers without having to ask the questions
I don’t want to ask the questions
like on the balcony when you said to me
you got drunk and crashed your car
you said you weren’t happy you survived it
but baby, I just wanna make sure you get out of the bell jar
I met your eyes from the staircase
they told me all I needed to know
you didn’t know what to do, couldn’t stay, couldn’t leave, heart on your sleeve
there was nowhere left for you to go
and out on the back deck, you sounded completely wrecked
talking careful, quietly
you looked shellshocked, your voice stopped, my heart dropped
when I said “you got this”, I meant me
I meant me
on the balcony when you said to me
you got drunk and crashed your car
you said you weren’t happy you survived it
but baby, I just wanna make sure you get out of the bell jar
|
||||
3. |
Baptism By Fire
03:01
|
|||
I am crying with my eyes shut, thinking about bathing in the flames
baptism by fire, since the day I was given my name
you say it’s too soon to worry, too warm and too blurry, but I don’t believe you
for now, we’re wrapped up in ourselves, probably going to hell, but I’ll do what I have to
to keep this starlight from being wasted
to cherish the thing we created
to keep taking you places you didn’t think you’d go
I know sometimes I’m slow
when I get close, I’ll let you know
I can’t tell which one of us is the moth, and which one’s the light
maybe I’m both at different times, sometimes I die, sometimes I burn so bright
I wanna hear you talk about nothing, wanna see you blushing, wanna know that you mean it
we’re bruising like a pair of peaches, I’m falling into pieces, hope you know that I mean it
I wanna keep this starlight from being wasted
I wanna cherish the thing we created
I wanna keep taking you places you didn’t think you’d go
I’m sorry I’m slow
when I get close, I’ll let you know
|
||||
4. |
Potholes
03:11
|
|||
I’m sick of worrying so much about worrying
I forget how to swim while I’m still standing on dry land
I wanna make my mind, make it stop, make it stop, stop hurrying
you see me drowning but don’t offer a helping hand
but worse things have happened to better people
and even they don’t have to spend their nights alone
I’m so sick of the constant silence, the quiet crisis
what’s the point of pavement if there’s still gonna be potholes?
paralysis by analysis gets exhausting
tell me, is there anywhere on this earth I haven’t cried?
sometimes I get so caught up, I’m caught up, caught up in the haunting
that I have to remind myself I’m still alive and I haven’t died
but I guess that worse things have happened to better people
and even they don’t have to spend their nights alone
I’m so sick of the constant silence, the quiet crisis
what’s the point of pavement if there’s still gonna be potholes?
what’s the point of swimming if I still can’t stay afloat?
what’s the point of trying if I still can’t stay composed?
what’s the point of changing if I still don’t have control?
what’s the point of pavement if there’s still gonna be potholes?
|
||||
5. |
Thin Air
03:23
|
|||
I watch it work out for everyone else
nobody’s gonna waste their time on me
standing on my front porch with my head in the clouds
and your gaze fixed on the trees
born under a bad star
eternally fucked but so eager to please
I’m holding auditions for the end of the world
but everybody else has somewhere to be
and if I believe, then I think I’ll make it there
I keep apologizing into thin air
and if we both believe, I bet we’ll make it there
I’m sick of apologizing into thin air
I feel like a storm caught inside skin too small
for everything I think that I could be
asleep inside myself, talking to myself
who knew I could be so vicious and weak?
or that existing in the space between the sound
is the pinnacle of all pipe dreams?
or that the right thing and the easy thing
are never the same thing, despite all the tender urgency?
and if I believe, then I think I’ll make it there
I keep apologizing into thin air
and if we both believe, I’m sure we’ll make it there
I’m sick of apologizing into thin air
I better learn to like my lonely life
I’m not lost, I came looking, but when I saw you, I couldn’t
‘cause it’s my cross to bare and I can’t ask you to care
about the way my heart breaks itself when I’m alone
and if I believe, then I think I’ll make it there
I keep apologizing into thin air
and if we both believe, of course we’ll make it there
I’m sick of apologizing into thin air
|
||||
6. |
I Did
03:35
|
|||
I feel like I’ve told all my stories
there’s nothing left to say
everytime you get me going,
my heavy heart gets in the way
you were enough to make me nervous
but enough to make me stay
I forgot how you felt in the morning,
not knowing what to say
but am I allowed to stay?
counting stars in your bedroom
giggling like little kids
you whispered, “can you feel that?”
I lied and said I did
the static glow of the light from the tv
and your warmth against my back
the way I found myself falling into it
the kind of comfort that i lack
I woke up to turn your alarm off
to try to see the forest for the trees
I felt your voice more than I heard it
asking, five more minutes, please
five more minutes, please
counting stars in your bedroom
giggling like little kids
you whispered, “can you feel that?”
I lied and said I did
|
||||
7. |
Forest
02:54
|
|||
I wonder if you know that I notice
when your eyes scream “I’m feeling too fragile for this”
but there was a magic moment in the fog,
when we were standing beneath the trees and I wanted to tell you that
this forest didn’t grow until we met
and all the songs playing in the background are just ones I haven’t written for you yet
and you looked me in the eye and you said, “I don’t know when I’m gonna see you next”
but I know this forest didn’t grow until we met
maybe one day you’ll steal a car and drive out to where the clouds are far behind me
and maybe you’ll end up in California or at least that’s what it’ll look like from the postcards of bloody sunsets that you’ll send me and they’ll say
that this forest didn’t grow until we met
and all the songs playing in the background are just ones I haven’t written for you yet
and you looked me in the eye and you said, “I don’t know when I’m gonna see you next”
but I know that this forest didn't grow until we met
and I know that no day has ever been the same since
and I know that sometimes you wish you could forget about me
but I know this forest didn’t grow until we met
|
||||
8. |
A Thousand Times
02:59
|
|||
I’ve been trying to think of something to say to let you know that I’m here
but everytime I open my mouth, the dream I have of you reappears
you’re in a field, and I see you, I see you, you and your baby blues
all of the sudden, you’re bleeding, I’m crying, and my feet are glued, I can’t move
I wanna save you, I wanna help you, I wanna hold you but I can’t
I have to stand there and cry, curse the sky
I’ve seen you die a thousand times, a thousand times
I miss you more than poets could ever make sound pretty, I wasn’t ready for your swan song
last night I felt you right beside me for the first time in forever, for the first time in so long
it’s been so god damn long
but one day I’ll be in the field and you’ll see me, you’ll see me, me with my wide brown eyes
all of the sudden, I’m running, you’re laughing — the most surreal surprise, to see your eyes
I’m gonna save you, I’m gonna help you, I’m gonna hold you so tight
we’ll stand there and cry, kiss the sky, my firefly,
I’ve loved you a thousand times, a thousand times
|
||||
9. |
Not Quite
04:00
|
|||
you’re drinking a beer at the bar on a Monday afternoon
reading a book and waiting for me to walk in
did you call me ‘cause you’re lonely?
or do you really wanna see me?
I don’t know, but at any rate, I’m on my way
to see you on the balcony standing there in a beam of July light
to wonder if you’re ever gonna touch me or even look at me right
to talk about the fact that you’re homesick for another life
to remind myself that I’m never gonna reach you, not quite
I can’t believe I worked this hard just to get back to the beginning
just for you to tell me again that these are my glory days
who made you the judge and the jury of this whole situation?
I don’t know, but I guess that means that I’m condemned
to see you on the balcony standing there in a beam of July light
to wonder if you’re ever gonna touch me or even look at me right
to talk about the fact that you’re homesick for another life
to remind myself that I’m never gonna reach you, not quite
our knocking knees and your lips on the corner of my mouth
I’m not sure how we got here, but we did
how do I give you a taste of your own medicine?
to make you feel just like I do about this?
‘cause I can’t tell if it’s hell or if it’s bliss
to see you on the balcony standing there in a beam of July light
to wonder if you’re ever gonna touch me or even look at me right
to talk about the fact that you’re homesick for another life
to remind myself that I’m never gonna reach you, not quite
|
||||
10. |
Spark
03:10
|
|||
there’s something about seeing a daytime moon
seeing the stars in the afternoon that feels good
even though they aren’t supposed to be there
it’s like seeing your face in a crowded place
on the other side of town and I think,
“what the hell do you think you’re doing here?”
I tell you one day I am leaving
and I am never coming back
you ask me how my heart’s still beating
I say I’m trying to get on track
just like the way your eyes take time
adjusting to the dark
I’m trying to calibrate the difference
but I keep staring at the spark
show me how to be still without bending to will
how to set the sky on fire and then
how to catch the falling sunlight in my hands
I need to know how to feel allowed to want the things I want
and I need you to show me a person who understands
I tell you one day I am leaving
and I am never coming back
you ask me how my heart’s still beating
I say I’m trying to get on track
just like the way your eyes take time
adjusting to the dark
I’m trying to calibrate the difference
but I keep staring at the spark
why don’t you meet me where I am
instead of taking me to where you think you are
before I tell you I am leaving
and I am never coming back
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Angel Reedy, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp